[slump day #1] looking back at failures... / by Sarah Kakusho

Some days, inspiration doesn’t want to come out and play.  So here’s a blog thing I found for a project that’s been long on hiatus.  It may not be as amusing as I thought it was, but it’s interesting looking at how simply taking action goes a long way.

Kusho.Konnection.Studio Summer Film Project 2oo7

クショ・コネクション・スタジオ夏の映画大作戦2007

[[ F o6.o1.2oo7 ]]
The new month is here.  The promised time has come.
nowhere near where I should be.  What the hell have I been doing all this time…?!
I should get a desk… and I should unpack… and should clean up this mess that I call my room…
This is not the right environment to make a movie. That and I feel so distant from everyone. I hate being cooped up in this room; however, I don’t even want to get out to talk.
Such an oxymoronic life I lead.  I piss myself off. 

[[ SA o6.o2.2oo7 ]]
Hahahaha, I lost my cell phone.  My only means of communication with the world outside.  ERG… That’s irritating.
Yes, I am unmotivated, lazy, and now I’m a hermit.  I’m off to a great start.  -_-;;

[[ TH o6.o7.2oo7 ]]
After long, long, long hours of thinking and not sleeping, I have found the perfect way to incorporate all of my past movie ideas together as one, without it seeming too sporadic and stuff.  woot.
I’ve also incorporated the idea of the seven deadly sins into this as well.  Not only that the Intro/prequel thing I was gonna make is now 30 minutes.  I already have 30 minutes of a film.  o_o  
Oh and on the downside… I still can’t find my phone.  But, must press on!  For the ideas await to shine! 8] 

[[ SA o6.o9.2oo7 ]]
Mm…I’ve hit a brick wall…and I dunno how I should get over it.  It’s driving me insane.  I feel that the story I’m about to tell is too ordinary.  No one will find interest in what I want to show… That and I think the ideas behind it are so…deep… no one will catch it.  Behjeezus…
But, regardless this is one story I would really like to bring close to home to anyone who comes across this film.  It’s completely based on the taglines “A Fake Story About Real People” and “Based on a True Story That Never Really Happened,” the two of which I had come up with upon my last days being on the SUA campus as a freshmen.  I had asked myself, what would happen if I take a group of people and put them in a situation that they’re not used to.  How would they react?
I guess this film’s become more of an experiment for me and my cast (my friends)…who haven’t been in touch with me since last Thursday and we were supposed to meet today.  Have I heard from them?  No.  Will this really work out?  I dunno how much of this will turn out the way I want to.  My mind’s telling me that I’m in a for a major disappointment.

[[ MO o6.18.2oo7 ]]
I have a goal date for my film now.  I had talked about it with Annie and she said that there’s a youth camp-out in Sarasota and there’s a chance I could show the film there.  Isn’t that amazing?  However, if I take this opportunity, that means I have to bump my schedule up to complete the movie by then.  Rather than finishing the entire film by the end of August, I have until August 11 to wrap everything up.  That’s 3 weeks that I was hoping to use as editing, and fallback.  But, I think this is a great opportunity to work on a film, again, with a deadline, so I can concentrate on organizing and prioritizing the work towards this film.  So, I did agree to the viewing on August 11, even though it may be somewhat raw as far as editing goes. 

[[ TU o6.19.2oo7 ]]
This is interesting, how my mind is working nowadays.  I think my mind has had it with the way I’ve been treating it—yes, my mind is a separate entity aside from myself.  I’ve been staring at the ceiling every night, watching this project in my head, how each shot should look, what kind of music should be in each scene, what props need to in each scene, what the characters should wear.  And then, last night, the most remarkable thing happened. 
I made it to the credits.
My mind is the movie projector I never knew I had… It’s amazing how much I think about this film now.  I used to be stuck thinking about Project esCAPE, and now…this.  It’s an infectious addiction that’s slowly spreading around me.
Well anyway, I made it to the credits.  The ending and that is already completely mapped out in my head.  Now all I have to do now is retrace my steps and map out the most interesting path to this ending.  It’s all so clear to me now.  Motivation-level is slowly rising.  
That, and I recruited my sister to Prop Designer.  Hopefully, all this will go as it is now…smoothly. 

[[ W o6.27.2oo7 ]]
I’m sick… still sick… have been sick since… Saturday.  It’s annoying.  I’m sick of being sick, because I can’t get anything done.  Sucks man.  Script deadline this Saturday and I have a total of nine pages. Whoopdi-fucking-doo-dah.  Filming is next week.  How am I supposed to start filming in this condition?  My voice doesn’t even sound like me anymore.  This is bad.  Really bad.
Last night, while I was lying in bed, I had this best idea for the film.  And, when I tried to get out of bed to grab a piece of paper and pen to write it down, I couldn’t.  Wanna know why?  My body was completely taken over by the antihistamines in my body, so it was completely OUT.  So, I feel asleep remembering this idea.  I remember that much… and then when I woke up this morning, I couldn’t remember a thing.  One good idea down the drain.  DAMN.  I hate being sick!