One of the producers at work asked me a very significant question: are you working on any of your own projects right now? While this may seem like an easy “yes,” I was somehow overwhelmed by this question. I would like to think I’m working on my projects, but it’s definitely easier to say that I haven’t been working on them as much as I’d like to. I spent the rest of the day reflecting on my experiences these past seven months working at this company. It’s definitely evolved from simply game-testing in QA to creating videos for marketing. As I thought about these things, I questioned my being at Crave Games and its significance. And as I read Hayao Miyazaki’s book, it’s as if an answer came straightaway.
“Go to college and, while enjoying four years of student life, study art if you really want to. I give young people this advice because jumping into the industry four years early isn’t going to help them become full animators any faster. Once you’re in the industry, you will be overwhelmed with work and you won’t have any time to study or learn for yourself” (p23).
Crave Games is an extension of my learning process. I’ve been able to relearn what leadership is while at the same time learning to be self-sufficient. It’s helped me interact and deal with different types of people while still maintaining a healthy, professional relationship with my co-workers. And it’s taken my OCD administrative paperwork dealings to a whole new level. As I thought about this, working here is no different than me being the felt-outta-place student at SUA. It’s crucial training ground for the future.
Today, I felt the film rolls in my head turn again and the images I imagined of the current projects I’m working left me breathless. One shot after another, I couldn’t help but feel this urgency to put it down on paper. And it was at this moment while I was at work I realized, this would not be possible if I were working at a production studio, where I would have to focus my entire being into someone else’s creative endeavor. Not saying, I don’t want to. Just saying it would be unfair to both me and the studio, if I couldn’t put my 1000% focus into either project. Yes, I’m focused at Crave, too… even got offered a promotion which I had to turn down. But because the gaming industry and the film industry differ in process, I’ve been able to manage to work full-time for both Crave and KshKnxnStudio.
The following are my projects for this year. The list will get longer. Guaranteed. But I’m determined to finish filming for one of them by the end of the year.
音楽をなめんじゃねーよ // Finding Azusa // Extraordinary Life
The Memories I Sleep to
That Which Unmasks Our Imperfections
While at times I may feel like Bekka is steering me away from film, I’m taking this as an opportunity to build upon myself and to continue creating, writing, filming, composing. To create the structure of what needs to be done, so that when I’m ready it will be done. This year will be a long and hardy road, but I can only push forward as I continue building myself, my foundation.
Mental motivation and advancement,
-Musings of an Aspiring Filmmaker
“If you plan to reflect what you really want to do in your own work, you must have a firm foundation. My foundation is this: I want to send a message of cheer to all those wandering aimlessly through life.” —Hayao Miyazaki