Day 56: 100 Days Left / by Sarah Kakusho

Wow. I can’t believe I’ve made it to my final triple-number day till I’m en route home. Tomorrow, it’ll be 99 days and then the day after it’ll be 98 till I’m home and it seems as if everything will roll down hill from here.

This week, my pallet has had more than enough of adventures. I’ve had Choripan and Greek chicken. Cow stomach and some kind of weird ham. It’s definitely been an adventure for my mouth. My eyes have had quite an adventure, too, looking at the menus like this one:

Honestly, I’m already mentally exhausted from academic work. I swear, I will never complain about academics again when I get back to the U.S. Nothing could ever be this hard and trying. And, I don’t think it’s completely a matter of difficulty as it is the amount of workload I get IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE. But, it’s a matter of tolerance.

I’ve become more patient, or at least more withholding when it comes to thoughts and feelings that may hurt other people. But, I’ve also become more open about feelings that I have for myself. I don’t think I’m in a constant denial with myself anymore, or at least as much as I used to be. It’s much easier to deal with myself. I don’t have warring consciousnesses that insist one thing over the other.

You know, I read somewhere: “The person who you’re with most in life is yourself and if you don’t like yourself you’re always with somebody you don’t like.” It’s taking myself to the next level. How much more comfortable can I get in my own skin? Will self-conscious thoughts and insecurities take away my freedom?

No.

Today, I felt more like myself than ever before. I walked out on the streets with my touristy socks-and-slippers, sweatpants, and hoodie to go study with a few friends in the park. And I didn’t care. Some of the little things, the little habits that you thought you could do without, sometimes come to save you from losing yourself, from forgetting that little voice inside you that makes you who you are.

Everyday, we are faced with a mirror. The people we see, the streets we walk along, the environment we live in, everything has some reflection of something within you. The moment you change how you look at yourself on the inside, the way you see things outside change.

Today, the world was beautiful.

“I am beautiful // No matter what they say // Words can't bring me down // I am beautiful // In every single way // Yes words can't bring me down // So don't you bring me down today” – “Beautiful” – Christina Aguilera

End – Week 8: Side Notes