Day 24: Conversation With Kami-Sama v(=_=)v / by Sarah Kakusho

Dear Kusho,

This is your conscious speaking. You’ve been out of touch for a few days now. Where are you! You must be really stressed. Last time you tuned out of your head was back in February when you completely ignored me and your body. What is it this time? Nothing’s started yet. Oh, there you are.

Kusho: Whoaa. Are you Kami-sama*”

Conscious: No. I am not. I am your conscious.

Kusho: Aw… can I call you Kami-sama?

Conscious: No, you may not—

Kusho: Kami-sama, why are you talking to me, after not replying to me for so long?

Conscious: (=_=)

Kusho: Why do you make that face at me, Kami-sama?

Kami-sama: …aren’t you a Buddhist?

Kusho: v(=_=)v

Kami-sama: … How was your day today?

Kusho: It was a good day. I learned many things.

Kami-sama: What did you learn?

Kusho: I learned that first impressions are always important, so always SMILE.

Kami-sama: What made you realized this?

Kusho: I was on the subway, listening to a really good song that reminded me to have a good time, and I started smiling. I started bouncing to the beat and people were watching me. But, they were smiling too. Dialoguing is one thing, but facial expressions are another way of connecting. Smiles are contagious!

Kami-sama: Mmhmm. What else did you learn?

Kusho: I learned how to jump off of the cliff of uncertainty and into the depths of the unknown.

Kami-sama: What’s the story behind this one?

Kusho: I was really reluctant to go to class today because I hadn’t received any syllabus or readings for it. But, I took the step into the university and waited outside the classroom. I found myself sitting next to a classmate. I started talking to her and she helped me remember to not be afraid to tap someone on the shoulder and talk to them.

Kami-sama: Lesson well learned.

Kusho: Mmhmm. And I was totally wrong about that class. Now, I don’t know what to do between the two classes I have to take outside of FUC, which one to take. Hah…decisions, decisions. Kami-sama, what should I do?

Kami-sama: I’m only your conscious…

Kusho: You know, I had the worst nightmare. All of my friends were crazy angry and attacking me. It was scary. It made me finally made sense. We each have a good and a bad within us. It reminded me of this one story that my district leader had told me about, a story she had heard from someone else:

“An old Cherokee chief was telling his grandson about the battle the old man was waging within himself. He said, ‘it is between two wolves, my son. One is an evil wolf: anger, envy, sorrow, greed, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is the good wolf: joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.’ The boy took this in for a few minutes and then said, ‘Which wolf won, grandfather?’ The old Cherokee replied simply, ‘The one I fed.’”

Kami-sama: Mmhmm…

Kusho: All you’ve been saying is “Mmhmm…” Don’t you have anything else better to say?

Kami-sama: Open your eyes. That’s what YOU always say.

Kusho: …

Kami-sama: Well, it seems you’re sane enough. I’ll leave you be. Remember to keep in touch sometimes.

Kusho: Aww, leaving already?

Kami-sama: I’m in your head. Just remember not to turn it off the next time you stress yourself out. Chau, kid

Kusho: Wait, Kami-sama.

Kami-sama: ?

Kusho: v(=_=)v

Kami-sama: …

Kusho: v(=_=)v

Kami-sama: v(=_=)v

(* = Kami-sama means God)

P.S. I'm going to Mendoza with Erika so I may not post until Monday. But I'll be writing every day and post it later. Peace out.